The spine-chilling murder case of Shraddha Walker allegedly by her live-in boyfriend Aaftab Poonawala has shaken the nation. While the investigation is unfolding new gruesome discoveries every day, it also highlights the need for women’s safety against toxicity and red flags in an abusive relationship. Red flags can be subtle which is why it’s difficult to recognize at first, but they are warning signs that indicate unhealthy behaviour of the partner.
Ignoring red flags can lead to more toxicity and create further problems in the relationship. One can identify these toxic traits only by becoming aware and hitting the stop button on the relationship. Here are a few ways to identify the red flags or the toxic traits in a person –
Controlling behaviour and possessiveness
Possessiveness and controlling behaviour are red flags in a relationship. If your partner is trying to control your decisions and beliefs, limiting your communication with friends and family, and restricting your movement, remember that it’s not about keeping your best interests at heart, it’s about them gaining what they want. A healthy relationship will have compromises and each other’s best interests at heart, instead of manipulations and controlling others’ actions.
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Abuse is in many forms. It can be physical, emotional and/or mental as well. While physical abuse is easy to identify, it’s the emotional and mental abuse that takes time to reflect on behaviour. Signs of emotional and mental abuse are – humiliation, name-calling, yelling, belittling, verbal threats and abuse, and gaslighting to name a few. This can lead to silent trauma, depression, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other issues.
Lack of communication
If your partner resorts to passive aggressiveness, blame games and angry outbursts, these are the signs of ineffective communication. A healthy relationship promotes open communication that creates a safe space for both partners to open up and address their issues in a mature way without any fear.
Look out for signs in your partner that points towards their anger management issues. You may feel threatened and unsafe when they are angry. An understanding partner will never project their unresolved issues on you. In case of a conflict between you two, it should be easy to seek solutions instead of fearing for your life. If your partner displays anger management issues, it’s safe to call off the relationship.
Lack of trust
Your partner checking on your phones and reading your messages has all your passwords or spies on you when you go out are toxic behaviours indicating a lack of trust. In a healthy relationship, talking about your doubts openly encourages healthy communication and builds trust.
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